I wanted to share this

Hopefully it'll go all giffy when I post it

Oh dear...

It's been a long time since it's happened and worst of all: It's someone I can't have
Fuck...

That town...

That town indeed...
No matter how much I try, it keep calling me back
Like every character in this epic tale, I too am dragged back into this world of wonderous horror

For those who are still confused, I just received Silent Hill: Homecoming in the mail and boy am I excited! Granted, I had to get it from overseas since it's not out here (Grrrr), but for this game passing it over was simply not an option.
I was going to start playing it right away, but I think I'll wait until later, sit down with a hot drink and play it deep into the night.
I'm reluctant to be accepting of the re-inclusion of Pyramid Head. His initial inclusion in the 2nd game was a great addition to the story. One could have concluded that this apparition was a product of James' guilt about the death of his wife in Silent Hill.
I would like to think his appearance in the 5th installment was an effort to continue the theme of guilt on part of the main character. A manifestation of the feelings that the protagonist is trying to suppress, Pyramid Head being the 'bad thoughts' if you will (Much like 'The Butcher' in Origins)
Most likely however, that he is there because he is subject to much fanboyyery. And as much as a like him as a 'character', I would like to think my affection for the big violent guy is far more founded in the deeper meaning for him being there, rather than 'HURRR! He huz a giant knifelololol' >.>

I hope Alex is a hateable as Harry. Cause, lets face it, Harry was a cockhead. And as much as people have love for Heather as a protagonist, I much preferred the darker side of a protagonist. I mean, James was a champ, but he was still a murderer XD

By popular demand

And by popular demand, I mean Jen

So, I've been quite sick as of late and I've been missing classes I should not have been missing. Hopefully my incredibly awesome brain power will allow me to catch up on stuff.
The show is coming along nicely, I'm really enjoying working with Margaret Cameron, her way of directing is very new to me and I welcome the challenge of 'Playing Shape' rather than the way I'm used to performing. I feel that with time this method might suit me better.

I keep taking extra shifts at work, which I really shouldn't be doing. While I DO need the money, it's taking up whole days which should be spent doing uni work. With a Policy review (Whatever the fuck that is) due on monday, I really can't be wasting time. 8:30 til 6 on Saturday, qqqqq.

I've also been getting progressively more sleepy as of late. I don't know if it's because I've been overdoing it or if I'm getting sick again. I'm usually pretty healthy so I don't know if my immune system has given up or what.

Wrestling is coming to Perth in July next year! And it'll be the first time RAW has EVER come to Perth. Needless to say all funds shall be diverted to buying an A class ticket on October 17 when the tickets go on sale. With any luck I'll get to see HBK for the first time ever and also get to yell at Cena if he's back. But my dream, if it shall be granted, would be to see Vince McMahon, I know it probably won't happen, but I can dream. And I mgiht also see Beth! Om nom nom nom!

A Quiz in response

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Do we need this (Muse)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Natural Mystic (Bob Marley) - Eya me Rasta! I an I liek dis one chya

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I dare you (Shinedown)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Jihei Tansaku (Asian Kung-fu Generation) - Hmmm, I wonder what that means in English. It's a rad song though.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Take a Bow (Muse) - Hmmm, this one fits nicely

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Gotta Knock a Little Harder (Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts) - Man, this one's creepy, I've always considered this song to have a ring within my own life.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
One Last Breath (Creed) - O_0

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Forest (SOAD)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Wet Sand (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) - Bahahaha, this made me have many lulz

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
East meets West (Ghostmachine) - That's hella creepy, the 'person I like' is Russian...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Uniform (Bloc Party) - Aw, I am not!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Hitchin' a Ride (Greenday) - BEFORE they were crap

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Stage is Set (FF8 Soundtrack) - Hmmm, very epic thar

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Incense and Peppermints (John Carter and Timothy Gilbert) - One of the Austin Powers songs! It's a sign! I must have a 60s themed wedding!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I'll Cover You (Rent) - Holy shit, in the play this song is PLAYED at the funeral scene...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Pea (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) - I love Pea, and he shall be my pea, and I shall love him forever

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Next Year (Foo Fighters)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Smack my Bitch Up (Richard Cheese) - It's the jazz version of it!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Cygnus... Vismund Cygnus (The Mars Volta) - As soon as I figure out what it means, I'll tell you as well. Rest assured it's something weird

Why bad things happen to good people?

I am once again motioned to post the question: Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am consistently amazed at the amount of times I see, whether it be on the news, in the paper, on the internet and more often than not, in my own life
I know a great many people, I know some of them better than others, some I only say hello to in passing on the street, people I know professionally, both through my performing and my work.
And though I DO know a great many people, there are only a select group of them whom I would consider to be 'good people', now not to say that other people who I know aren't good people - I just haven't been in enough situations to make an accurate and fair judgement on these peoples 'goodness'
In any case, most recently I have seen such horrible things happen to this person in my life, again and again has this person had to be the receiver of worse and worse news. This person I consider to be one of the most kind, caring and thoughtful people I know. Never have I heard word of, nor experienced a situation in which this person has EVER been malicious, hateful or disrespectful. If Karma is to be true then it sure is fucked.
I'm sure that this is just cruel twists of 'fate', as a cynic of the phenomena I can hardly use the word fate seriously but for lack of a better phrase that will have to do.

There are no moral rewards for kindness it would seem. Sure, maybe there are direct ones, being nice to your boss and getting a promotion sure, but none of these random acts of kindness, ones we so rarely see in this world, go un-punished.

People who are good souls, good human beings, these are the ones who are the most tested by the tides of 'fate'.
May these people have that one moment of pure happiness, and may those who are bad feel the deepest sorrow for all they have done.

Tits, or Destiny?

I panicked a few minutes ago, I thought that one of my favourite websites, Bebop Musings, had been taken down, turns out it's URL had been only changed... phew
For any fans of the show and it's intricasies, I highly recommend it to you, if you've got a bit of time and a big philosophical mood then go there:
http://www.absolutetrouble.com/bebopmusings/

I should be at the gym right now, but I'm very tired from work
I think I'll go a bit later, loving the whole 24hours access thing, only problem is its cold going down in the middle of the night and when you're all sweaty it's even worse. Maybe Red Rooster will be 24hours soon!

I'm still trying to work out how this whole log system works, I want to put in pictures and the 'What song I'm listening too at the moment' but I don't know where the functions are...

Ooop, wait, found the picture one
WHY IS IT AT THE TOP!?!?!?
ARGHAHGHGHHAHGH!

Oh well, there is Beth Phoenix, who I am secretly in love with >.<

At the End of the World

I wrote this for Creative Writing last semester
It's not entirely finished yet, but this is what I submitted
I wanted to create a character who initially seemed like a nice decent person, but actually turns out to be a complete bastard, even though he himself doesn't realise it

At the end of the world, I was standing with my son watching the stars go out, an omen of the entity that came to destroy our home. The destroyer ripped through the cosmos, snuffing out the gaseous giants of the sky and devouring all of the energy in its wake, sucking everything up into the core of its ‘heart’. It was gathering strength. A being of such power, strong as it may be, could not obliterate an entire planet with its own brute force. Stars were easy. Since there was no life in a star, taking away something which didn’t have any souls was child’s play. A planet housing several trillion souls was different. It required something borrowed, astronomical. At least, that’s how we understood it.

My son skipped in circles around our old dog, Rams, trying to rouse him from his lifelong drowsiness. Ever since we’d owned him, he’d either been asleep, or eating. They were blissfully unaware of the inbound horrors. The thing was that no-one knew where it came from and, at this particular juncture, I don’t think it was a thought that occupied many people’s minds. A car shot past, red Holden easily doing 150 in a 60 zone. It didn’t really matter though. No matter how fast he had driven the place he was destined to go would probably have been destroyed before he made it anyway. My mind began to wander to better things. Movies would be gone… TV would be gone… laughing, comics, sausages, kittens. Chocolate… my son… I’d never see Rocky Balboa…

I shook my head from side to side, dragging myself out of the lament for an Italian boxer. My son had stopped playing with Rams and stood staring at the sky, mouth open, eyes wide. He cocked his head and looked at me

“Where is mummy?” he asked. I hadn’t expected him to say that. No “Dad what’s that giant ball of death coming toward us?” or “Are we going to die?”. A lump had crawled into my throat, I swallowed but it stayed where it was. I didn’t want to die feeling like that. Feeling that loss, stupid child. Ignorant, stupid child. I’d told him hundreds of times why she wasn’t there any more. He never listened. I cursed my son, cursed him for making my last moments ones in which I was angry…

-Memory Stream interrupted-

“The last thing I ever thought about him while he was alive… I cursed him, Ivan, I cursed my son with every fibre of my being for saying that to me. I wish I had loved him more then”

-Connection re-established-

-broadcasting from last break-

-Memory stream recording-

Heneverlistened.Icursedmyson,cursedhimformakingmylastmomentsonesinwhichIwasangry…

I later used a universal narrator, an ingenious Tradian invention which allows one to view certain crucial events in history, I had asked the machine to give me a meaningful rendition of my home’s destruction. I played the sequence back, and from what I remember it went like this: ‘Then all the wind stopped, the planet ceased to rotate and simply waited. What was once a meadow full of life became a dark field of silence. Every living being on the face of the planet stood completely still, their heads hanging back, staring at the forbidding sky. A Sherpa atop the great Mount Everest stopped climbing and looked up. A diver off the coast of Australia swam away from the coral specimen he was studying and looked up. A thug in an alleyway stopped robbing the young woman he was with and looked up, the girl not running, but following suit. Animals and humans alike all staring, unable to tear their eyes from the expanse of the above’

It didn’t rumble, at least not at first, instead it felt as if all the hatred was boiling up inside me. It was like all the anger and pain that I had accumulated over my entire life was focusing into my soul, pushing it to the surface. I gritted my teeth hard and clenched my fists, my nails cutting into my flesh and drawing blood. Even later I never understood why. I speculated as to why, but overshadowed by the rage I was unable to think straight. I tried to calm myself as I tore my eyes from the sky to see Rams up on his legs, baring his teeth and snarling viciously at my son, who was shouting back at him, fuelled by an unnatural rage. I tried to scream out, but first there came a sound, very distant. It grew into a cacophony so immense it could be heard far away in space. There were only screams, no time… no time…

It hit somewhere around Canada first, and from what I could later deduce, it was somewhere around Montreal. It tore a hole so large that most of the Eastern United States was completely gone within a matter of seconds. The sheer magnitude of the shunt sent the earth twirling off it’s axis out into open space. The sound of the nearly 4 billion people left still alive and screaming vibrated every atom within the shattering atmosphere. Reports later indicated that they could be heard as far as Trad, the planet of lights. The destroyer blasted its way to the earth’s core, like a psychotic mole with aviators, a cigar and a bazooka on steroids. Within 3 minutes it was all gone. And then there was nothing.

The cold of space gripped my lungs, I breathed… but what? I flailed my arms wildly at the realisation that at that very moment my eyes may have been popping out of my head. They weren’t. I kicked and punched but hit nothing, I screamed until my throat was bleeding but no-one heard. Then a few things of consequence happened very quickly: in my confusion I hadn’t paid much attention to anything around me. After I’d calmed down I turned my head, finally focusing on the situation that I was in. There wasn’t much left and what was there didn’t really leave the impression that a planet was occupying the space not 2 minutes ago. A few shards of earth and metal floating about off in the distance bumped into each other, then bounced off in opposite directions. Being in space, it became hard to judge how far away something was. Without anything to compare it to, I could only have assumed that unless I could touch something then it could have been anywhere. Then all at once, an explosion rushed past my left eye. Some volatile remnant of earth, a huge chunk flew past my right and a burning mass shot straight for me. The Destroyer. It came to an abrupt halt right in front of my nose, floating ominously there, all knowing and powerful. It somehow seemed contented, curious, as if it had never seen a human before, though it had destroyed my home and everything I loved, I felt as if it, whatever it was, was just a baby. It was looking for something and that something it had not found by destroying this planet. It stared at me for a while longer then it seemed to look up, as if it had heard something far off in the distance. Just before it took off it looked back at me, but instead of the flaming mass, it was my face, depicted in the fire itself.

“Why can’t I eat you?” it asked

“What?” I asked back

“I couldn’t eat your brother either…” It trailed off, more occupied with the thing it had heard. It disappeared in a flash.

I remember thinking to myself: “What does my brother have to do with this?” I hadn’t seen him in over 5 years and he wasn’t even part of the research project into The Destroyer, so what possible connection could he have had to it at all? I shook my face, as I so often did back then, and tried to figure out what I was going to do with myself. I was all alone, since my entire race had just been brutally killed by a giant cosmic death ball thingy, I was in space, alive, which by all accounts was theoretically impossible. An image of Albert I, the poor Rhesus monkey flickered into my mind as I imagined the horrors of space travel. I tried to move, but I couldn’t build up any momentum, I cried out for help. I simply spun there, hanging in the infinite depth of the beyond. Unable to move, unable to escape and unable to die.

A few hours after the destruction, my ears prickled and my head shot up, I had heard something, out in that horrible consuming blackness. It was a very faint noise, but it was undoubtedly there. A small human voice in the distance. And at that moment, I knew that I wasn’t the only one, others had survived, and now they were stuck, like me, floating in eternal space.

-Memory recording over-

-Ending Connection-

-Subject vitals normal-

-Reanimating-

I woke up, as if I’d been in a deep sleep, having a most horrible dream about death and pain. I was in a hot confined space, strapped into a large green chair.

Being Creative

As I lay in my bed last night... well morning, trying to get some sleep before my imminent departure from my house the creative bone struck me, it struck me to the point that I had to get up and do something about it. I wrote down a few things which had been nagging from the back of my mind to be written and shut my book. It strikes me as a curious thing, that I feel most creative at the most difficult of times. A dilemma hits me: Get up and give into my impulse, which could very well lead to bigger things, or ignore it and try to get some sleep. Unfortunately, the latter rarely wins.
As I lay back down I began to think about perfection, do not ask me why dear reader (and I'm quite sure you won't bother >.<), perfection of a great many things and how impossible such a common notion actually is. The Perfect Woman, The Perfect Man, The Perfect Day, Perfect Cell, how silly these things are in reality, but are so readily referred to as 'perfect'. I much prefer the term 'idyllic' as it implies a much more subjective view of something which, for all intents and purposes, could simply NOT be true.
So with that in mind; when we have an image of something, or in many cases someone, in our minds, it seems to us as perfect. But what if, by some cruel twist of fate, this 'perfection' does not exist? Is one to search and pry to prove what they know, for lack of a better phrase, in their heart is something which simply does not exist?

So I put to you dear reader; is it worth that search? Is it worth giving every fibre of your being to find something which could very well be impossible? Or is it better to take solace in the knowledge that that thing never existed in the first place, and was only a fabrication of a busy mind?

Arkanon Poros
Bahahahahaha